Ay, it's so hot! It felt like my feet were sprouting blisters as I hiked to this net cafe. They're widening the road sa may palengke and it didn't surprise me greatly when I saw that the semento was dry enough to walk on when just the other night nung dumaan ako wala pa naman pino-pour na semento dun.
Is it true what they say about the correlation of bloating and heat? (you know, the hotter it gets the more your body expands?) My shorts were not this tight when I left the house but somehow after walking under the sun for 5 minutes to get to this place I find that my fly is open. The zipper must've given way under the extreme pressure of nagpupumiglas na adipose.
Know what, I'll give you an insight on a mother's thoughts. The other evening at the mall I saw a small boy about Isabel's age. He was uh, cleaning his nose with his digits and sampling the bi-products all at once. And I found myself thinking, " I hope my daughter doesn't marry this guy." How weird is that?
After months of suffering from lack of self-worth I have come to the conclusion that I have gotten this huge by eating my daughter's table scrap. Vulgar-speak, SALIN. I don't know where I got this insane "ay, sayang" mentality. And I am bereft. It is only now, painfully, that I realize, mas sayang yung mga pantalon na di ko na nasusuot. Not that I couldn't get this big on my own. I mean, I ate like a pig before but now I eat like a MAMA PIG. And mama pigs are waaayyyy larger than spawnless pigs.
Wait. I know what this is. This is an odyssey. Someday I will pass this part even though it seems like it's caught in a time-warp. Someday, i don't know how many years more, I will metamorphose into a fat-free goddess and everyone will worship me because even my nose will shrink. Right now my nose is also in heat-and-bloating mode. It looks like a mouse, the one connected to your PC.
Monday I am starting acupuncture. Another of Janice's wild and wacky ideas. According to her she lost her appetite completely. I saw her last night and if you ask me what I thought was missing with Janice, I'd say it's her waistline. But I'm going to the acupuncturist just the same. You know me, anything for a chance at thinness. Maybe I can convince the acupuncturist to bury the needle in my mouth and leave it there for the rest of my natural life so that every time I ate I would feel PAIN.
You know what they say "You are what you collect?" I think I will always secretly hate Yeyet for influencing me with her baboy collection. Because when I started collecting swine I collected the weight as well. I remember a few months back when a friend told me, "So, cows na pala ang kino-collect mo ngayon?" I remember smiling stupidly because I could not grasp what she meant at the time. And so I was always lying in bed at night thinking about that incident, puzzled because I never once thought about collecting bovine. And then it occured to me .... mukha na ba akong baka at iniisip niyang baka na ang kino-collect ko?
Newsflash. Kelangan ko pa palang maglaba at kaya ako nandito ay para bumili ng Tide sa grocery, hindi para magbabad sa net cafe.
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